Yesterday was a bit of an up and downer. I discovered S (the boyfriend) is not necessarily the most fun person to shop with (which is really no fault of his own, he’s admittedly not much of a go-out sort of person), got a new desk chair, rearranged my living room, helped clean up S’s room because of a friend of his having too much fun, didn’t get the game that should be here already, and so on and so forth. Not unlike the weather, which was a bit gray and overcast and then suddenly bright and sunshiney in bursts.
On our ride back to his place after discovering about the too much fun thing, I was ranting a little because I was decidedly unimpressed with most of the knitting books at the bookstore. It’s a personal opinion of mine that there is a market for complicated technique books and pattern books for the skilled knitter, and that these sorts of books are not really published. The ones that are I try to snag up, but invariably there’s that “How to Knit and Purl” page.
He asked me why I didn’t try and make or find pattern writers to fill this niche–it’s a market I think exists that isn’t getting met, after all. It clearly bugs me. And he pointed out that I sort of do need more to do with my time besides homework and knitting–I tend to get bored and unhappy with both, and have these gaps of distress because I feel a need to accomplish but no real goal I’m willing to strive towards. Developing and designing patterns that I think that a skilled knitter could appreciate isn’t exactly a terrible use of my time–it’s knitting beyond following a pattern too. Even if I don’t like a design, I can photograph it, or save the swatches, and if one day in the future I like them, I can repurpose it and hopefully be a better knit designer.
I can’t really think of why I shouldn’t do it. S is incredibly encouraging about the whole endeavour, because he’s a dear and he thinks that I’m a skilled enough knitter that this would make me happy–to create these things to fill the gaps. It’s nice to have that sort of faith from someone, and he’s right–it’s not a pressing need, it’s something I can do every now and then, in the spaces. If eventually I get a finished product, I could try to publish it. If not, what have I really lost?
Does anyone else get these sort of ‘bored with everything’ moods? I think my own anxiety and nervousness makes me lock myself into these habits that don’t change, and lets me think I can’t do it. Sometimes, I don’t think I’m a very brave person, just one who likes to critique a little too much.
I don’t promise you’ll see a zillion designs here; maybe just tiny swatches of ideas. But trying to focus my energy into something creative doesn’t sound all bad.
P.S. — I’ve unbanished the Pheonix Cardigan. It’s got a cast on and 2 rows on a 2.25mm to start.